Wow...
I was fumbling around the world wide web and remembered that I had started a blog back in the day. How cool is that? It's like a time capsule of emotions!
At that time, I was working on finishing up my education degree. My goal was to transfer all of the energy and creativity that I had poured into homeschooling AJ into working with other children. Now, I am getting ready to begin my sixth year teaching at Hope Ranch Learning Academy! This school is such a blessing in that it truly allows teachers to pour into their students spiritually, academically and socially. I look forward to going there each day, and I am grateful that God has blessed me with this opportunity for this time in my life.
One of the amazing benefits of teaching is that we have summers "off". Okay, not really "off" since there is a lot of preparation to complete for the upcoming year, but at least the time we take to complete it is flexible. As a result, Tony and I are enjoying lots of time together traveling to the East coast of Florida together while he works. It's a fun way to experience new things together and minimize the time we're apart when he's required to travel. We also have a new-to-us boat now, which allows us to spend time snorkeling and enjoying the peace of the beauty of Florida while we're back at home.
AJ has since graduated from college as well but has not been quite as fortunate career-wise. While he usually has steady employment, steady pay for said-employment is not as easy to come by. We're standing on Jeremiah 29:11 though, believing that His plan for AJ is perfect.
Tony's precious mom went home to be with the Lord on February 1, 2017. As heartbreaking as that was, we are dealing. My mom's gone through some pretty horrific health issues herself, but God has seen her though. Oh, and she did accept Him as her Savior on March 4, 2019!! Woohoo!!!! I'm so looking forward to getting to see her walking in that Victory though...please join me in that prayer.
So I guess that's a pretty accurate summary of what's changed over the course of the last seven years. Gosh, I can totally remember sitting in the USF library typing out the previous blog posts...just a reminder of how quickly time passes...
Until next time....
Tuesday, July 9, 2019
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Me, only different...
Chronic pain. I have heard people say that they deal with "chronic pain". Although I understood their words, I couldn't imagine what that would be like. I would conjure up my experiences: accidental (read: clutzy) burns, cuts, scrapes; girly stuff like monthly cramps and cysts, and seemingly unbearable stuff like the occasional excruciating migraine...none of which I would ever want to attach the word "chronic" to...
Now, for years I've had a painful area in my upper back--between my shoulder blades. It began with a car wreck where I tried to restrain myself (sans seatbelt) from a bench seat when we were rear-ended. This was many moons ago, and really it only hurt when someone would touch me there...and how often does that happen...lol!
Fast forward to maybe a year ago...
I started getting these intermittent pains in my upper arms/ shoulders. They were pretty nasty, to tell the truth. Like, if I went to raise my arms, it would take my breath away--kindof like a knife would...
You may be wondering if I had thought to "have it looked at"...of course I did. But, when I went to the doctor, it was one of those "intermittent" times, and I could only faintly describe what it "would" feel like if I were currently experiencing the pain
<insert doctor's patronizing smile here>...
Time went on, and the pain became less "intermittent"...enter the term "chronic"...
my fore-shoulders became my bane...
Being the "queen of search" that I am, I began my quest for self-diagnosis. I determined that I must have a "bi-lateral rotator cuff injury", since all of the movements that the sites said would be difficult, were! Of course, there was no precipitating "event" or "injury" which should have caused this trauma, but at this point, I didn't really care.
I began a regimine of excercizes the sites listed as being valuable for strengthening this injury.
Boy did it hurt!
Oh yeah, I had made another doctor's appointment also...just to have him confirm my brilliant diagnosis.
Then something strange happened....
Suddenly, both of my hands and my wrists started experiencing the same sharp pains! In the morning, they were stiff and ridiculously hard to move, but they hurt the rest of the day also. Ughhh....
So my appointment finally arrives and I anxiously await the wisdom of my physician. After what I would consider a rather cursory examination, he tells me that I have osteoarthrosis...yep, arthritis! Just like that! I walk in young; walk out ancient!! The nerve!
So now I'm like, "what about tests?" He sends me off with an order for the xray of ONE shoulder...(yep, one...guess mine are symbiotic or something) and a perscription which he assures me is NOT just a painkiller/anti-inflammatory....
Guess what...it was a painkiller/anti-inflammatory....
Meanwhile, the pain keeps getting worse, and his meds? Oh yeah, they do NOTHING....
So I request a referral to a rheumatologist....
Of course, I can't get in there for a month, but--by now--I'm just happy in the hope that there is a diagnosis.
His verdict? Evidently, I have 12 of the 18 "tender spots" indicative of fibromyalgia (none of which include fingers, hands wrists or shoulders). In addition, my bloodwork (Yes, he did bloodwork!) showed that the meds I am taking to treat my hypothyroidism is not strong enough, which could also be causing me pain. Oh, and I tested positive for lupus, but--when my thyroid gets straightened out, that may prove to be a false positive.
Oh yeah, and I DON'T have arthritis...this has nothing to do with my joints...we think...
So yeah....
That brings me to my new reality....
My meds are changed, and I am believing for a healing. In the meantime, I hurt. I feel like such a whiner. I have always been strong--not many girls aspire to be body builders, but it was the only sport I seemed to excel in. Now, I am still relatively strong, but everything hurts. Even doing absolutely nothing hurts. Ughhh....
So, if you've read this far....uhhh...thank you?!
I know it wasn't interesting or funny; I just really needed to vent. I would love if you would keep my situation in your prayers, when you think of it. Tony & AJ have been wonderful, but I really don't like feeling less than whole.
2 Corinthians 12:9 "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
Now, for years I've had a painful area in my upper back--between my shoulder blades. It began with a car wreck where I tried to restrain myself (sans seatbelt) from a bench seat when we were rear-ended. This was many moons ago, and really it only hurt when someone would touch me there...and how often does that happen...lol!
Fast forward to maybe a year ago...
I started getting these intermittent pains in my upper arms/ shoulders. They were pretty nasty, to tell the truth. Like, if I went to raise my arms, it would take my breath away--kindof like a knife would...
You may be wondering if I had thought to "have it looked at"...of course I did. But, when I went to the doctor, it was one of those "intermittent" times, and I could only faintly describe what it "would" feel like if I were currently experiencing the pain
<insert doctor's patronizing smile here>...
Time went on, and the pain became less "intermittent"...enter the term "chronic"...
my fore-shoulders became my bane...
Being the "queen of search" that I am, I began my quest for self-diagnosis. I determined that I must have a "bi-lateral rotator cuff injury", since all of the movements that the sites said would be difficult, were! Of course, there was no precipitating "event" or "injury" which should have caused this trauma, but at this point, I didn't really care.
I began a regimine of excercizes the sites listed as being valuable for strengthening this injury.
Boy did it hurt!
Oh yeah, I had made another doctor's appointment also...just to have him confirm my brilliant diagnosis.
Then something strange happened....
Suddenly, both of my hands and my wrists started experiencing the same sharp pains! In the morning, they were stiff and ridiculously hard to move, but they hurt the rest of the day also. Ughhh....
So my appointment finally arrives and I anxiously await the wisdom of my physician. After what I would consider a rather cursory examination, he tells me that I have osteoarthrosis...yep, arthritis! Just like that! I walk in young; walk out ancient!! The nerve!
So now I'm like, "what about tests?" He sends me off with an order for the xray of ONE shoulder...(yep, one...guess mine are symbiotic or something) and a perscription which he assures me is NOT just a painkiller/anti-inflammatory....
Guess what...it was a painkiller/anti-inflammatory....
Meanwhile, the pain keeps getting worse, and his meds? Oh yeah, they do NOTHING....
So I request a referral to a rheumatologist....
Of course, I can't get in there for a month, but--by now--I'm just happy in the hope that there is a diagnosis.
His verdict? Evidently, I have 12 of the 18 "tender spots" indicative of fibromyalgia (none of which include fingers, hands wrists or shoulders). In addition, my bloodwork (Yes, he did bloodwork!) showed that the meds I am taking to treat my hypothyroidism is not strong enough, which could also be causing me pain. Oh, and I tested positive for lupus, but--when my thyroid gets straightened out, that may prove to be a false positive.
Oh yeah, and I DON'T have arthritis...this has nothing to do with my joints...we think...
So yeah....
That brings me to my new reality....
My meds are changed, and I am believing for a healing. In the meantime, I hurt. I feel like such a whiner. I have always been strong--not many girls aspire to be body builders, but it was the only sport I seemed to excel in. Now, I am still relatively strong, but everything hurts. Even doing absolutely nothing hurts. Ughhh....
So, if you've read this far....uhhh...thank you?!
I know it wasn't interesting or funny; I just really needed to vent. I would love if you would keep my situation in your prayers, when you think of it. Tony & AJ have been wonderful, but I really don't like feeling less than whole.
2 Corinthians 12:9 "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
Monday, February 21, 2011
Reality check...
Just a side note...
I have recently come to the conclusion that parents (especially those intending to home school) should be taking courses in college...
but not for the reasons you may be thinking...
I don't care if you have a no degree or a PhD, there is nothing as humbling as taking college courses while your child is also in the active learning phase of his or her life. It is--to say the least--a reality check....
Talk about valuable insight and perspective...
For example:
Some courses are presented as if you are incapable of logical thought patterns. You are not permitted to skip steps, or form conclusions without having gone through all of the provided material. You are not permitted to get anything wrong (you know, experiment with inferences and deductions) because you are expected to simply ingest & regurgitate (assimilation is not an expectation).
Other courses are just plain boring...or maybe the core subject matter would be interesting if the presentation was more applicable to something meaningful to you.
My current inspiration is statistics...I do not hate statistics...as a matter of fact, I love research and am therefore fascinated by the concept of truly deciphering the studies I've come across...but this class is driving me nutty...really!
I totally "get" the calculations, but the theoretical situations presented are so mind-numbingly NOT what I care about, that I just keep ending up on facebook (or now, on blogger!!)
ughhhh......
Good news is, I can now completely empathize with my son...and that's a good thing. Last semester, when he had the bizzarro calc II instructor whose presentations sent him home with his eyes spinning in opposite directions, I just didn't get it...
Now, I get it....
(I'm sorry AJ!)
So, yeah... sign up for a class...or two...a hefty dose of reality can be a good thing...
I have recently come to the conclusion that parents (especially those intending to home school) should be taking courses in college...
but not for the reasons you may be thinking...
I don't care if you have a no degree or a PhD, there is nothing as humbling as taking college courses while your child is also in the active learning phase of his or her life. It is--to say the least--a reality check....
Talk about valuable insight and perspective...
For example:
Some courses are presented as if you are incapable of logical thought patterns. You are not permitted to skip steps, or form conclusions without having gone through all of the provided material. You are not permitted to get anything wrong (you know, experiment with inferences and deductions) because you are expected to simply ingest & regurgitate (assimilation is not an expectation).
Other courses are just plain boring...or maybe the core subject matter would be interesting if the presentation was more applicable to something meaningful to you.
My current inspiration is statistics...I do not hate statistics...as a matter of fact, I love research and am therefore fascinated by the concept of truly deciphering the studies I've come across...but this class is driving me nutty...really!
I totally "get" the calculations, but the theoretical situations presented are so mind-numbingly NOT what I care about, that I just keep ending up on facebook (or now, on blogger!!)
ughhhh......
Good news is, I can now completely empathize with my son...and that's a good thing. Last semester, when he had the bizzarro calc II instructor whose presentations sent him home with his eyes spinning in opposite directions, I just didn't get it...
Now, I get it....
(I'm sorry AJ!)
So, yeah... sign up for a class...or two...a hefty dose of reality can be a good thing...
God stuff....
It's been 22 years since I realized that Christ died for even me...and since then, I've been walking through what that means in my life. Thankfully, Tony and I were "us" when I made that realization, so my journey has been one that we've shared.
Stewardship. Basically, what we do with what we've been given. That concept is so all-encompassing...it kindof makes me gasp. Really! How I treat my husband. How I walk out the marriage relationship. How we parent our son. That doesn't even begin to touch on the stuff stuff: house, money, jobs, blah blah blah...it's exhausting...
but it's part of God's gift to us
This life is so much more than what we have and what we hope to have
One day, I had the realization that the only thing in life that truly matters is that which brings glory to God.
Pretty powerful stuff! (Of course, that doesn't mean that I don't have to re-realize it on occasion, because I do...) Just picturing God--infinitely powerful and just as loving--smiling because He is pleased with my effort, my consideration....wow....
I picture Him with dimples....
Stewardship. Basically, what we do with what we've been given. That concept is so all-encompassing...it kindof makes me gasp. Really! How I treat my husband. How I walk out the marriage relationship. How we parent our son. That doesn't even begin to touch on the stuff stuff: house, money, jobs, blah blah blah...it's exhausting...
but it's part of God's gift to us
This life is so much more than what we have and what we hope to have
One day, I had the realization that the only thing in life that truly matters is that which brings glory to God.
Pretty powerful stuff! (Of course, that doesn't mean that I don't have to re-realize it on occasion, because I do...) Just picturing God--infinitely powerful and just as loving--smiling because He is pleased with my effort, my consideration....wow....
I picture Him with dimples....
Saturday, February 19, 2011
When verb returns to noun....
So, last night I kindof unloaded on a friend of mine at the coffeehouse...obviously, my mind is burdened, and sometimes it's pretty hard to restrain.
You see, I'm kindof in mourning.
Ok, maybe it's not as dramatic as it sounds, but in a way, it is.
You see, after parenting for almost 17 years, it will be coming to a close soon....and that is really hard for me.
I know, I will always be AJ's mom, but I have really enjoyed the mom-ing...the verb.
I was one of those kids who never really thought it would happen for me...you know, it. The fairy tale happily ever after where the little girl finds her true love, gets married, has babies, and...yeah. Just never thought it would happen...for me. But it did.
Tony is my buddy, my best friend, my love...the one with whom I would be happily stranded on a desert island...yep, that's my shmoopy! When he told me he loved me 21 years ago...wow...I was just, like...wow!
So then we married, and in spite of the doctors' negative prognoses, God saw fit to bless us with AJ....again...wow! I was always afraid that I would not know how to be a mom; I was too selfish, too much of a sound sleeper...you name it...but becoming AJ's mom was truly a dream come true. Our choice to teach him ourselves only intensified the magnitude of our delight in being parents...we didn't have to miss a thing! Even now I look back at videos (yes, I watched some this weekend!) and--it's not just skewed memories--raising AJ has been a blast!
And now, he's almost 17.
Please don't get me wrong, I am sooooo proud of the man he is becoming. He's fun, has a wonderful sense of humor, he's considerate and fiercely loyal to those he cares for. He is not frivolous with his affections, but carefully chooses those with whom he spends his time. He is a man of integrity, and I really like him. It's funny how well-meaning friends love to warn parents of the inevitable difficulties of the teen-age years (insert dramatic music here).
Newsflash: it's not a "given".
But I guess that's what makes this so hard...
I know I will always be AJ's mom, but I would be lying if I said that I am fine with going from a verb to a noun....
You see, I'm kindof in mourning.
Ok, maybe it's not as dramatic as it sounds, but in a way, it is.
You see, after parenting for almost 17 years, it will be coming to a close soon....and that is really hard for me.
I know, I will always be AJ's mom, but I have really enjoyed the mom-ing...the verb.
I was one of those kids who never really thought it would happen for me...you know, it. The fairy tale happily ever after where the little girl finds her true love, gets married, has babies, and...yeah. Just never thought it would happen...for me. But it did.
Tony is my buddy, my best friend, my love...the one with whom I would be happily stranded on a desert island...yep, that's my shmoopy! When he told me he loved me 21 years ago...wow...I was just, like...wow!
So then we married, and in spite of the doctors' negative prognoses, God saw fit to bless us with AJ....again...wow! I was always afraid that I would not know how to be a mom; I was too selfish, too much of a sound sleeper...you name it...but becoming AJ's mom was truly a dream come true. Our choice to teach him ourselves only intensified the magnitude of our delight in being parents...we didn't have to miss a thing! Even now I look back at videos (yes, I watched some this weekend!) and--it's not just skewed memories--raising AJ has been a blast!
And now, he's almost 17.
Please don't get me wrong, I am sooooo proud of the man he is becoming. He's fun, has a wonderful sense of humor, he's considerate and fiercely loyal to those he cares for. He is not frivolous with his affections, but carefully chooses those with whom he spends his time. He is a man of integrity, and I really like him. It's funny how well-meaning friends love to warn parents of the inevitable difficulties of the teen-age years (insert dramatic music here).
Newsflash: it's not a "given".
But I guess that's what makes this so hard...
I know I will always be AJ's mom, but I would be lying if I said that I am fine with going from a verb to a noun....
Random beginnings....
It's funny...I used to look at blogs the same way I looked at devotionals...I never understood why people read devotionals! I thought, "why don't they just read their bibles?" No judgment; just random thought. While I personally prefer to read my bible, I have finally caught on to the value of reading an inspirational passage alongside someone's interpretation of how to apply it...good stuff! In the same way, I now "get" the blog thing.
I would think, "why would anyone want to read anyone else's diary, of sorts?" That was until I stumbled across a few blogs and found laughter, inspiration, conviction...yeah...they're pretty cool.
So, here I go...
I entitled my blog "Between the Ellipses" because I tend to use them a lot. You know...the dot-dot-dots. That's because I often feel like my thoughts are open-ended. I'm often not quite ready to settle on something as final as ending punctuation as my thoughts are still fluid...hmmmm...
So, I don't know if anyone will end up reading this, but I do love to write. And I do have sooooo many thoughts running around my brain sometimes that I feel like writing could be cathartic, to say the least, but I foresee more peace and joy than cleansing...
Yeah...this is good!
Thank you to Krista and Lisa, especially, for inspiring me to just write...
I would think, "why would anyone want to read anyone else's diary, of sorts?" That was until I stumbled across a few blogs and found laughter, inspiration, conviction...yeah...they're pretty cool.
So, here I go...
I entitled my blog "Between the Ellipses" because I tend to use them a lot. You know...the dot-dot-dots. That's because I often feel like my thoughts are open-ended. I'm often not quite ready to settle on something as final as ending punctuation as my thoughts are still fluid...hmmmm...
So, I don't know if anyone will end up reading this, but I do love to write. And I do have sooooo many thoughts running around my brain sometimes that I feel like writing could be cathartic, to say the least, but I foresee more peace and joy than cleansing...
Yeah...this is good!
Thank you to Krista and Lisa, especially, for inspiring me to just write...
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